Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Why Women Cheat

By Ashley Levine




Have you cheated on any of your boyfriends? Do you have any friends who have? Chances are you answered “yes” to at least one of those questions. Which begs another question: What is going on? Why do women cheat?


We live in an era where the female orgasm is not just the “luck of the draw,” and it seems that in an effort to become equal to men, we’ve also managed to beat them in the cheating game.

Growing up, I was told that men are pigs and they all cheat, when, in fact, most of the women I knew were messing around. And if you put things in perspective, it makes sense.

Women cheat because of options

Every day of our lives, most of us get hit on by guys, some more than others, mind you, but there’s no doubt that women get hit on way more often than men do. Again, there are exceptions (the Brad Pitts of the world), but, typically, men approach and women choose.

So if a man never gets hit on and women are constantly hit on, and if both are not satisfied with their current relationships, who do you think has an easier time wandering?

Now if the man who wants to cheat actively pursues another woman, that’s no better, but no matter how you arrive at your situation, cheating from either side is never a great thing for the person being betrayed.

Why women cheat

So why do women cheat - what brings it on? Are we rotten human beings who are so self-absorbed that we can’t see past the tips of our own noses? Well, yes and no.

When women cheat, they usually tend to blame their man. It’s quite laughable actually, when the cheater thinks of herself as the victim. In fact, if you cheat, it is on your shoulders because no one makes you cheat; that’s a decision you make all by yourself.

Even if your boyfriend or husband treats you like crap, neglects you, won’t try new things, stops being fun, gets fat, or whatever other reason you can come up with, the fact of the matter is that you have no one to blame for your actions but yourself.

If you found out your guy was cheating and he came back at you with a list of the things you did wrong and told you that you essentially “forced” him to cheat, he would get a taste of your Gucci heels. But when the tables turn and women cheat, suddenly we’re the victims. That’s not right.

To cheat is human?

Cheating is something that almost every woman I know has done at some point in her life. With men, I couldn’t honestly say that they would all be honest with me, but more often than not, many men are faithful by choice and not for a lack of options, despite what Chris Rock says.

Personally, I have not cheated nor will I ever. I am of the opinion that if you’re not happy in your relationship, you should recognize that before you let another man inside you. And because I would never want to feel that kind of betrayal and I am a firm believer in karma, I would never inflict that kind of pain on any man.

Now, as for having been cheated on, I really can’t say. I can tell you that I don’t think any man has ever cheated on me, but the truth is, I will never know.

If you have cheated on a significant other, did you ever really ask yourself why? Why do women cheat? Why did you cheat? Did you blame him for it? Did you ever tell him about it? It’s tough to think of yourself as having done a bad deed and, most of the time, we console and convince ourselves that we had no other choice, but didn’t we?

So it’s a matter of fact that women cheat. We are not victims. We have come a long way as women and, while some think it only fair to give men a dose of what we have been enduring for years, the truth is that adulterous women have been around since the dawn of time. So that doesn’t hold water.

Preaching to the choir

If you’re going to cheat, I am not here to condemn you for it, but before you do, maybe you need to figure out why you would even want to, and once you do, you might want to exit the relationship beforehand and avoid cheating at all.

Or, maybe you are happy in the way you choose to live your life and will continue to believe that whenever you give in to another man, it is your current man’s fault.

But the next time you’re about to declare that “all men are pigs,” you might want to rethink that statement. After all, you’re proving that women cheat.

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