Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Why Men Cheat

By Brandon Evans



What You Did To Make Him Cheat On You


You know, the other day I was watching an entertainment show that discussed why men cheat on their beautiful celebrity wives and girlfriends. Jude Law (Sienna Miller), Eric Benet (Halle Berry), and Hugh Grant (Elizabeth Hurley) were mentioned, among others, but what struck me was the female announcer’s reaction to why the men cheated.

Reason after reason turned it onto the guy and made him out to be some kind of selfish monster who was unfeeling and unappreciative of what he had. As though the announcer knew each of these women personally and knew that they were perfect, so it had to be some kind of inherent flaw in the men.

If that wasn’t enough, the next day I watched a talk show that discussed why women cheat and guess what? It was always the man’s fault. That’s right. When women cheat, it’s because their men have somehow faltered the relationship and driven them into another man’s arms.

So let me get this straight… when a man cheats, it’s because he’s an a-hole and when a woman cheats, it’s because her man’s an a-hole? Hmm, something’s amiss here.

I am not a cheater in any way, shape or form, and I believe that there are myriad other options besides cheating when someone is unhappy in their situation. But if you have dated a handful of men and they have all cheated on you, isn’t it possible that you are partly to blame for their wandering ways?

Why men cheat

Of course, there are plenty of a-hole men who cheat simply because the getting’s good and they think life is one grand buffet, but there are other men who simply feel driven to it (as I’ve heard many a woman put it when they find themselves being the cheater) for the following reasons.

Why men cheat reason #1
You suck in bed

I know way too many women who are just awful in bed in so many ways. There are the dead lays, the spastic lays, the demanding lays, and the I’m­-doing-you-a-favor lays. I have yet to meet a man who likes any of these types of women.

And yes, he does have the duty of confronting you on your bedside manner, but let’s face it; do you know how difficult it is to tell someone they don’t please you in bed and, in fact, do the exact opposite? Sometimes it’s easier to love the one you’re with and lust with someone else temporarily.

Why men cheat reason #2
You’re a downer

Every time he’s with you, you complain about everything. Your neck hurts, you missed the bus again this morning, your boss hates you, it’s raining, you gained weight, your stomach is upset… ugh! Shut up, will you?

So it’s no wonder that when he meets happy-go-lucky Vanessa at work and she’s always laughing and flirty, that he wants to rip her underwear off with his teeth and give it to her doggy style on the copy machine.

Why men cheat reason #3
You’re always fighting with him

Whether he told your best friend your deepest, darkest secret of forgot to rinse his spoon, everything is a freakin’ battle with you. You spend most of your time together arguing over the most benign things simply because you can’t let anything go.

He starts to feel inadequate at home so when he meets a woman who thinks he’s the greatest thing since ice cream, you can bet your ass that he’ll want to take a bite out of hers.

Why men cheat reason #4
You belittle him

From his body to his smarts, you make fun of your guy to the extent where it’s no longer funny and it’s downright insulting. You make him feel like a loser and take any opportunity to laugh at him.

So when a beautiful woman comes along and engages in long, thoughtful conversations with him and tells him he’s a wonderful man, you can bet that the minute she reaches over to him with her mouth, he’ll have a hard on the size of a baseball bat.

Why men cheat reason #5
You’re fat and ugly

You used to take such good care of yourself and you always looked and smelled like a million bucks. But lately, you’ve put on 40 pounds and stopped caring that your landing strip is looking more like the Amazon jungle.

All day long at work, he watched all the hotties go by looking perfectly coiffed and put together. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, you’re downing Doritos and squeezing your zits in front of him. So yeah, when he starts sticking it in another woman, it’s because his imagination simply can’t keep up the charade.

Why men cheat reason #6
He doesn’t feel desired

There was a time when you’d wear sexy lingerie or blast trance music and seduce your man until he thought he was going to ejaculate from every pore on his body. Now all you do is hop out of the shower and lie in bed, waiting for him to “get it over with.”

Men need to feel desired just as much as women do and when they don’t feel it, they tend to wander off looking for that feeling. And there’s a good chance that they’ll find it.

Wondering why men cheat

I didn’t list the obvious reasons women tend to tick off when they try to reconcile why their men wandered into another woman’s arms simply because the clichés have got to go. It’s high time women started taking a modicum of responsibility for why they cheat and why their men cheat.

This isn’t a perfect world nor will it be any time soon, so rather than cross your arms and wallow in self-pity, ask yourself if you could’ve done anything to have prevented the infidelity.

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