Taylor Momsen Blames Her Parents For Her Misery

• Taylor Momsen is blaming her parents for her bad attitude. Yeah, and I blame mine for my inability to make these bullet points fuchsia. In a new interview, she says, "everyone's like, 'wow, why is she upset and why is she so miserable about things?' My parents signed me up with Ford (models) at the age of two. No two year old wants to be working, but I had no choice." TALK ABOUT NOT HAVING THE LUCKY INDIAN ON THE WRAPPER OF YOUR TOOTSIE POP! - STAR

• Katy Perry has already started telling Russell Brand which shirts not to wear. He thinks it's hilarious and a "thing off a sitcom." So they're off to a great start, at least.  - TFL

•  Vera Farmiga had a daughter and named her Gytta Lubov Hawkey. Let's pick which name the school's attendance monitor is going to make fun of first. - People

• The Betty Ford Clinic has given Linsday Lohan the OK to do a photo shoot next week. Her counselors believe she's ready to accept work, as long as it's in the Palm Springs area...because there's no bad influences in Palm Springs -- just mad old people who don't use condoms anymore. - TMZ

• Halle Berry lost her daughter in a department store and her head "projected" off her body. Turns out she was just hidden in some pants. - US

• What do Tom Cruise, Warren Beatty and Gene Simmons have in common? Cher. Ugh, and my disgust. - US

• If you're pregnant and want to keep it a secret for a little bit longer, a) DON'T TELL ANYONE, and b) don't tell Good Day LA host Jillian Barberie Reynolds, because she will tweet the good news out, in conjunction with another tweet that says how great she is at keeping secrets. - People

• Kim Kardashian wanted to have 30 birthday parties to celebrate turning 30, but ended up having 5. As Samantha said of Charlotte's wedding: "It's your day. You get a day. Not a week." And you don't get the rest of my life, either. - Digital Spy

• Some porpoises saved Dick Van Dyke yesterday when he fell asleep on his surfboard. Thank you, porpoises. Your next task: make yourselves easier to spell. - Guardian